PLEASURES…
Poems and Reflection by Deborah Weatherston
Deborah Weatherston, PhD, Infant Mental Health Specialist and Mentor; Retired, Executive Director, Alliance for the Advancement of Infant Mental Health. Dr. Weatherston received her Ph.D. in Education, Sociology, and Psychology from Wayne State University. Her post-graduate work includes a Graduate Certificate in Infant Mental Health. She is a licensed social worker and holds an Infant Mental Health Mentor endorsement. Dr. Weatherston co-founded the Interdisciplinary Graduate Certificate Program in Infant Mental Health at the Merrill Palmer Institute (now Merrill Palmer Skillman Institute) in 1988 and served as its Director until 2004. She helped to develop the MI-AIMH Competency Guidelines©) and the Endorsement for Culturally Sensitive Relationship Focused Practice Promoting Infant Mental Health.
I offer these poems in celebration of reflective practice, the gift that came to me as I sat with families in their homes as an infant mental health home visitor and then afterward, in the office of my reflective supervisor. Reflection, such a powerful component of our work with babies and those caring for them. Aptly named, for surely we see ourselves reflected in the face of the baby or the parent caring for the baby as we share our thoughts and feelings with someone trusted to hold them.
My journey as an infant mental health home visitor took me on adventures, unanticipated, some pleasant and others, not so. The memories came slowly, bits and pieces at a time, or in a rush, all at once, the blue of the eyes, the rosiness of the cheeks, the way the baby’s fingers grasped that of the mother, the tears that fell. Past awakened in the present by the baby’s longings for care and stories told. My past, my present, other babies, other families. Each home visiting experience offered an opportunity – quite unexpected – to remember someone or something, a joyous moment, a birthday or a painful loss, longing, grief. Unannounced, these memories tumbled out with force in the quiet of a supervisory hour.
The written word following reflective supervision offered me comfort, sometimes bringing new understanding of the intertwining of personal and professional in this work with babies and allowed me to return, knock on a family’s door and begin the journey again.
PLEASURES… Written on Mother’s Day
By Deborah Weatherston
there are first smiles
there are first games – patty cake and peek-a-boo
there are the pleasures of parents who can hold their children
comfortably on their laps
there is the delight of an infant’s first tooth
there is the adventure of an infant’s first step
there are lovely stories of
grandmother’s care,
trips to the country,
holidays past,
celebrations on Mother’s Day
there are first birthday cakes and presents
there are family albums, collections of people,
past and present
there are stories of aunts and uncles
families
there are longings for attachment and wishes that
life might be less lonely
there are cries for comfort
there are lullabies and blankets
fingers curled around a mother’s hand
there are gestures of affection
expressions of joy
I startle
how often have I, in moments of pleasure
remembered other babies
cheeks like roses
skin as soft as kitten’s fur
smocked dresses
round faces
smiles and games
grandmother’s care
first birthdays
longings for attachment
lullabies and blankets
fingers wrapped around my hand
affection
whose babies? whose pleasures?
whose nursery?
I smile
how often have I in the intimacy
of other homes
remembered
pleasures
attachments.
Ways of Knowing
By Deborah Weatherston
Enter my world
Slowly
Smell the flowers in the vase
Sit beside me in the quiet of my room
Breathe deeply
Still your heart
Let your tears fall slowly down your cheek
Dream your dreams
Listen as the music fills the room
Enter my world
Slowly
I’d Rather Not
By Deborah Weatherston
Endings
I’d rather not
Far better to fill my
Head
My heart with
Beginnings