I love you just the way you are
Reflection by Joanna Hawthorne
– a new song for Julian and Felix, composed by their grandmother Joanna Hawthorne and her daughter and son-in-law, with music composed and sung by Raimundo Santos and Joanna Hawthorne.
Let us know what you think in the comment section below! (Commenters are required to enter first names before posting).
To fully experience the piece, a performance of this song can be downloaded HERE.
Dr. Joanna Hawthorne is a Developmental Psychologist, who has worked in the field of baby behavior and support for early parent-infant relationships for 35 years. Her doctoral work with Professor Martin Richards at the University of Cambridge, was based in a neonatal unit, exploring ways to support parents whose babies were born early, small or sick. She qualified in the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale (NBAS) in 1976 and worked in both the USA and UK. She completed an internship at the Department of Psychiatry, University of Chicago, and received an Infant Specialist certificate from the Erikson Institute, Chicago in 1994. In the UK, she took a counselling course at the University of Cambridge and a year’s course at the Institute of Family Therapy. From 1995-2004 Dr. Hawthorne was a Senior Research Associate at the Centre for Family Research, University of Cambridge, involved in three different studies – maternal anxiety and ultrasound scanning, how baby behaviour informs care in neonatal units, and the effects of parental separation and divorce on children. She trained in the Brazelton Touchpoints Model in 1998 and 2014 and is on the faculty of the Brazelton Institute as a senior Trainer.
I love you just the way you are - a song composed for Julian and Felix
By Joanna Hawthorne and her daughter and son-in-law, with music composed and sung by Raimundo Santos and Joanna Hawthorne
Credit: Song created as part of the Philadelphia Lullaby Project, a program of World Cafe Live and Carnegie Hall, 2021. Music composed and sung by Raimundo Santos. Additional song by Joanna Hawthorne; Lyrics by Joanna Hawthorne, grandmother, and her daughter and son-in-law.
To fully experience the piece, a performance of this song can be downloaded here.
Lyrics:
I love you just the way you are
I love you just the way you are
Julian is happy and lively
Oh, how funny you are!
Felix is smiley and cuddly
Oh, how funny you are!
Two brothers so fascinated with the world!
Watching, looking, seeing and finding!
Julian wants to climb higher and higher and higher!
Felix wants to reach further and further and further!
I love you just the way you are
I love you just the way you are
Julian is happy and lively
Oh, how funny you are!
Julian loves diggers, dump trucks, road rollers and fire trucks!
Leaf blowers, vacuums, chainsaws, diggers, excavators, cranes, towers.
Julian is happy and lively
Oh, how funny you are!
Oh, how funny you are!
I love you just the way you are
I love you just the way you are
Felix is smiley and cuddly
Oh, how funny you are!
Felix loves clapping and banging two blocks together!
We open a new present every day when we see Felix –
What will you do now, you smiley, cuddly, bundle of fun?
Felix really likes the cat “Mango”
Mango, Mango, Mango the cat.
When I look at you, all
I want to do is sing a song
You are very cute, and sometimes you just like to sing along
We can sing together I know we can,
We will always sing whenever we can,
We will sing together I know we will,
We will sing together always, always.
Felix and Julian smile and squeak with each other,
Julian wonders if Felix is scared of thunder and lightning?
Is Mo OK? Mo happy? Mo sad?
They are caring for one another.
Both brothers devour food and books
They want to hear stories over and over again.
Broccoli, avocado, pears, beets and noodles
Crackers, chicken, pancakes and apples –
Is there anything you two boys will not eat?!
I love you just the way you are (Julian is happy and lively)
I love you just the way you are (Felix is smiley and cuddly)
I love you just the way you are (I love you just the way you are)
I love you just the way you are (I love you just the way you are)
Reflection by Joanna Hawthorne
Singing is part of living to me. I could not live without it. Some of my earliest memories are listening to my mother play and sing at the piano. She had the wonderful talent for playing the piano by ear, and at home in England, we sang songs from the Great American Songbook (my mother was American), but at school we sang Church of England hymns and English folk songs. I joined groups and choruses at school from an early age, and I loved singing on stage in shows and choirs from the age of 13. I find it easy to make up songs, but not so easy to write poetry.
Surprisingly to me, when my first grandchild Julian was born, I seemed to sing to him more often than I spoke to him! My passion for babies knows no bounds, and I had the ultimate pleasure of being with him and watching him every day for his first two months, as I lived with the family. When I moved to my own apartment nearby, I helped the family 3 days a week during his first year, with my grandmother and Brazelton hat on, it was such a joy! For my whole life, I have been fascinated by every little movement of a baby, and every new developmental phase. Berry’s words about babies are always in my head (I first learned in the NBAS in 1976) – “their behaviour is their language, trust that language, share observations with parents, parents are the experts, not us”. I also hear Kevin Nugent’s soft tones in my head, and learned much from his gentle handling of babies when doing my NBAS certification, along with his writings and development of the NBO. He is a master of words, and I love the way he describes the emotions we all feel when working with babies and just ‘being’ in the room listening to the baby’s story. I have been influenced by Colwyn Trevarthen’s work on the musicality of babies, so I knew how enriching music is for the brain of babies and children. But even if I had not known these benefits for the baby’s brain, I would have been singing. Both my grandsons become quiet and wide-eyed when they hear music. Julian held his toy guitar like a cello, using his toy broom as a bow after I introduced him to Yo-Yo Ma’s work; Felix claps, and bangs his toy drum or toy piano in rhythm.
I live in Philadelphia to be near my grandchildren. When Felix was born I lived with the family for his first two months also. What an unparalled joy of discovery once more! I heard about the Lullaby Project, developed by the Carnegie Corporation, and my daughter and I joined. What better way to celebrate my grandsons than in song! It was very exciting to me. We were paired with a musician, in our case a jazz singer and pianist, and we were asked to write down our thoughts and feelings about our children/grandchildren, and our hopes and dreams for them. These words became the lyrics of the song. Our musician was eager to hear about the music we liked, and hear us singing too, so I sang a short spontaneous song one day when I was with Felix, which was incorporated into the whole song. Our song turned out to be more of a “Bohemian Rhapsody” than a lullaby (as my daughter said), which was certainly different from the other families’ lullabies presented at the final concert!
To me, this song serves as a loving portrait of my two grandsons. My feeling is that I wanted to cherish and remember all the characteristics of these little boys, as these details can be so easy to forget. I also wanted the boys to know forever how much we loved them. But it was also a chance for my daughter, her husband and I to share thoughts about the boys, as well as our musical preferences. When writing a song together, one lays oneself bare musically and emotionally. It was such a pleasure to re-discover my daughter’s musical likes and talents, as well as those of my son-in-law, who has been writing music himself again. I felt we learned more about each other as well as sharing some of our deepest thoughts about the boys. I cherish the priceless moments of seeing the boy’s serious faces and wide eyes as they listen intently to their song!
We are very grateful for this memorable experience with the Philadelphia Lullaby Project. My daughter and her husband dedicated this song to Julian and Felix at the beginning of the song, and I added a postscript:
How proud we feel of Julian and Felix –
What love and passion for their wellbeing!
Be well and happy you two wonderful boys,
Always be curious, lively, calm, kind and loving,
We all love you just the way you are!
Let us know what you think in the comment section below! (Commenters are required to enter first names before posting).